Weekend Depression

Hi, My name is Jadee and I suffer from "weekend depression". I didn't realize what this was until I was doing one of those daily quizzes from MySpace. One question asked, "Who was the last person to call you?" and another question asked, "Who was the last person to text message you?". Crazy for me that both answers to those questions actually took place on Wednesday night! No wonder I fall into a depression by the weekend...

To add insult to injury, I got my regular "I really wish you would go to church this weekend" call from my small group leader. Granted, the church has started a new way of conducting the small groups and the discussion questions are based on the week's sermon topic. So, yeah, I am out of the loop when I don't attend.

So we did go to tonight's service. I can't tell you how excited the boys were and my oldest even got dressed up in his suit! I REALLY must make a committment to attend for their sake!

However, it was very hard emotionally for me. It is like salt in a wound. I am still trying to figure out why I still feel such hurt. As I sat there listening and looking out remembering when I used to be so involved at this church. How happy I was back then, despite the tough road it had been before then. How I loved being involved with the prayer team, worship team, and leading the kids music! Only to have it pulled out from underneath me...er, rather the ignorant bliss was gone and reality took its place. It's a sad thing when that innocent trust is destroyed.

Which leads me to some hard questions of my own, that actually coincide with the message today about when life brings the "rogue waves". And what do we do when we Struggle, Surrender, and Hope through these rough times. The pastor said tonight that its in those times that we hold onto God and hold onto those that give us that support. Okay, sounds good in theory. He also said that struggles are a part of life and we must keep trusting in God. I would agree. He said that when you continue to work through the struggle stage and into the surrender stage, then you will find hope.

Let me ask: How do you get that happy innocence back once the trust has been broken? How do you find those to help give you support during your struggles? How do you keep working through the struggles when you run out of energy?

I ask these questions not from my own life's perspective, but rather from a general life's perspective. I know all of us struggle with life's "rogue waves". I know this happened for Job and Jeremiah in the Bible as well. I know that NONE of us are without hardships.

But the summary and take away from this week's sermon is simple...and something I already knew:

LIFE is a 4-letter word.
Take ONE day at a time.
ONLY GOD can be counted on...(people will ALWAYS let you down.)

[I am hoping by getting this off my chest now, that I won't fall apart tomorrow evening at small group when we discuss this topic.]