Well, I have been doing pretty well today to be able to focus on what my current tasks are: Work, Kids, House. Thankfully, my boys are doing their share of the chores without complaining, thus giving me time to actually cook their favorite meal. Spaghetti. (Don't ask my why they think mine is best, but they refuse to eat spaghetti at any restaurant!)
As I was watching them enjoying their dinner, I thought about if the tables were turned and my child was the one cutting me off from communication. How would I react? What would I do? What would I think? Suddenly, it was a very clear picture that flashed across my mind. (Don' you just love how God does that?!)
All I saw was the immature boy (aka. The Prodigal Son) running away from his troubles. He thought he knew so much more than his father. Sure, he had the time of his life for awhile...thinking that he really showed his father what was what. Not until, he found himself at rock bottom...eating with the swine, that he realized if he even just looked up for a bit..it was far better than the point he was then.
Ah, do I remember the day I hit rock bottom! But I am able to look back on that day and realize JUST how MUCH I have GROWN since that point! I think it takes us getting to that point, before we can fully understand the true meaning of God's unconditional love and grace! He gave us the story of the Prodigal Son, just to show us that no matter how dirty we get into denial, He will have His arms open wide for us! He REJOICES to have us home as a part of the family!
This being said, it is clear for me what my next steps are regarding my family. God has already enabled me to take that first step with my brother. Below is the most recent conversation with him through MySpace:
Date: Apr 28, 2007 11:26 PM
i know you think that i deleted you...but all i did was click the block user from communicating...and i guess it wont keep your profile ...when i unblocked you...it was gone....
i do not understand why you have taken such a poor and disrespectful attitude with me...i love my family very much and i absolutely hate it when people run away from truth...but i know that is what we were shown growing up...and run from one church to another and to cut off family when there is a disagreement...
however, it is not how i am raising my boys...so i have learned to pray/think before speaking, but when i speak...to speak truth...
i am sending you another friends request...i hope you will respond favorably...
Love,
Your Sis,
Joy
Date: Apr 29, 2007 9:15 AM
well, if you call responding favorably being that it is in my best interest and yours, that i "respectfully" deny the request. please do not contact me or any of my friends in the future.
thank you.
Date: Apr 29, 2007 11:00 AM
Well, i cant believe you are making that kind of extreme action as your choice....but i cant make any promises to never contact my family again. I love my family very much and will always be looking out for the best for each of you. However, I will say that I do not deserve to be treated with the verbal abuse and insults that you last spoke to me on the phone. NO ONE deserves that kind of treatment. I do pray that the cycle can be broken before you take it into a marriage....since its very clear that I married into the same kind of chaos that was demonstrated to me from our own parents, and deb also married a controlling man...ALL of this behavior is NOT normal and NOT healthy!
Date: Apr 29, 2007 10:29 PM
lol i dont have anything else to say to you. seek help. i am so very normal and so far from being anything like your husband that you chose to marry against the GOOD advice and wisdom from your parents that its not funny. i am a man. i will be who i am. i will be successful. i love God. i will love my wife (whoever she maybe) with all of my heart and treat her like the queen that she will be. thats why i have waited so long to get married. I WILL NOT SETTLE. i'm sorry for everything that you have gone through and are going through currently. i am serious about this one thing. this is my last message to you. i will not respond to any others. you have chosen your life and path as twisted as it may be.
Date: Apr 30, 2007 6:39 PM
How interesting...I am not exactly sure what you mean by "currently going through"...because I AM the stable one in life...and have no "issues" that I am dealing with...
Oh, unless you are referring to the fact that you are running away from situations that you don't have guts to talk about???? And that you want to take the cop-out way of communicating with YOUR FAMILY by "cutting yourself OFF from them"...hmmm!
And, tell me...exactly how is my life "twisted"? How can living for God and raising two boys to also love God, be "twisted"?
I would love to hear a counselor's view on your statements and philosophy in life!
I will also be serious about something with you. YOU ARE my BROTHER...and ALWAYS be! I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU...unconditionally! That is what God expects of me as His Child. So no matter what hurtful things you choose to say or do, I am much stronger than you may think. God is my Strength...and I walk through life with His Guidance and Wisdom.
I pray that you will also come to experience His Unconditional Love and Grace and will be able to live it as an example to those around you, beginning with your family, parents & siblings, just as I have learned to do!
1 comment:
I'm sorry that there has to be so much drama with your family all the time. I know you were really loving having your brother in your life and him being an uncle for the boys. I'm sorry that you aren't able to still have that at this time. Maybe in the future that will be different? We won't give up hope.
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