I find it very interesting how some people can end a friendship, yet call for help with the preface of "I know we aren't talking anymore, but I need some help." Hopefully, it's because they know that I have the heart that does help and doesn't hold grudges. Or maybe it's because they know that I wasn't the one in the wrong, when they made it clear we were not going to be friends anymore. I am not sure how to respond when I was treated like I didn't exist, yet now I am trustworthy of "keeping an eye on their apartment". Some people....
Ironically, after a year of having it out with another friend...she emailed me last night, stating she was always here for me if I ever needed anything. Funny how some people make it clear they don't want your friendship if you ever disagree with them on something. Oh, and its interesting that I received the email after she has moved to another state. Is it because some people feel safer volunteering their care and concern when they aren't nearby? Maybe they know that it's nearly impossible to "be there for you"? Some people...
I know some people disappear off the radar for a period of time then all of a sudden pop back online and are happy to talk. I have teased one friend for the last several years that I have to call and make sure he is still breathing every couple of months. He agreed that was fine! Another friend seems to disappear when things get crazy in his life. I can understand that! I don't feel like talking to people when I am overwhelmed with stuff in life. Some people....
Are just like me.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Who said they broke the mold?
Tonight while spending snuggle time and watching our movies--our traditional Friday night--my youngest asked me to scratch his back...like always!!! This is something I started when he was a baby...and he was more comfortable lying across my lap...so I would scratch his back. ;) I decided to draw on his back like my sister and I used to do during our "mandatory Sunday after-church nap" (boy I crave those naps now!) As he was guessing and we were laughing together...I was drawing another picture on his back when he said..."Mom, you're still smiling, aren't you?" I laughed again...and said yes, how did he know?! He said...you always stay smiling after you laugh!
Lately, I have been having a hard time finding my oldest son, who will just disappear for 20-30 minutes without a sound. Always worried what he may be into (you know that "too quiet" sound...lol) I was getting a little frustrated when he wouldn't answer me. I finally discovered that he has found a new love for reading chapter books...and has picked up the worldly habit of taking reading material with him into the bathroom...LOL! Of course, this is becoming his safe-haven...but I couldn't help but laugh...This was what I did when I was a kid!!! I was always glad for an excuse to open my book for another 10-20 minutes...lol! Needless to say, my mother was always calling for me to "hurry up"! (but of course, I picked up the habit from HER!)
I guess the apples really don't fall far from the tree!!!
Lately, I have been having a hard time finding my oldest son, who will just disappear for 20-30 minutes without a sound. Always worried what he may be into (you know that "too quiet" sound...lol) I was getting a little frustrated when he wouldn't answer me. I finally discovered that he has found a new love for reading chapter books...and has picked up the worldly habit of taking reading material with him into the bathroom...LOL! Of course, this is becoming his safe-haven...but I couldn't help but laugh...This was what I did when I was a kid!!! I was always glad for an excuse to open my book for another 10-20 minutes...lol! Needless to say, my mother was always calling for me to "hurry up"! (but of course, I picked up the habit from HER!)
I guess the apples really don't fall far from the tree!!!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Quest for Truth
I have found the answer!
One trait of my personality that is rare to most I meet, is that I so strongly hold on to "truth", that I have no room in my life for people that lie to me.
I have been told I am "too honest to a fault" and it drives some people crazy. Because I will question doing something if there is even a slight doubt that it may be wrong. T can even tell you when we met in college that I questioned her if it "was really okay for us to go get Dairy Queen" while we were working at a music camp! LOL! (ahhh...good times!)
Today, I know the answer to why I search out truth in every area of my life, thanks to my daily horoscope! LOL! ;)
Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, November 1:
You march to the beat of a different drummer, and you're not afraid to explore where it leads you. You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. If there's any sign who can find it, it's you. Keep searching.
One trait of my personality that is rare to most I meet, is that I so strongly hold on to "truth", that I have no room in my life for people that lie to me.
I have been told I am "too honest to a fault" and it drives some people crazy. Because I will question doing something if there is even a slight doubt that it may be wrong. T can even tell you when we met in college that I questioned her if it "was really okay for us to go get Dairy Queen" while we were working at a music camp! LOL! (ahhh...good times!)
Today, I know the answer to why I search out truth in every area of my life, thanks to my daily horoscope! LOL! ;)
Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, November 1:
You march to the beat of a different drummer, and you're not afraid to explore where it leads you. You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. If there's any sign who can find it, it's you. Keep searching.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
My Second Date
As I have been looking for a church home over the last year, I realized that its very similar to "dating". How so, you ask?
I KNOW exactly what I am looking for: qualities, chemistry, fulfillment, interaction, and so on. As in dating, I KNOW what I am looking for in a match.
In dating, I usually take the time to get to know some things about the person. Talk to them on the phone for a little bit. Then schedule the meeting. I like to keep it to 15-30 mins, so that its not wasting anyone's time or energy IF there is not a "click".
I realized that its the same principles that I use in "dating" to find a church. I research them online, get directions, send an email to ask some questions about their programs. Then I go for the "visit". IF the music isn't there and I don't feel the "click" or connection during the service.
I know its going to sound weird to some of you that read this...that how could I ever "accept or reject" a church based on the little interaction of a first or second "date". I think it really comes down to life experience...and what you want in life, a church, and a future spouse.
I sometimes even wonder if I have spent too much time in Customer Service to expect a certain level of "contact" from a church to a visitor. Those of you that know me, know I am not adverse to bringing an issue to the attention of the responsible manager. BUT I am also always one of those people that send compliments or thank you notes on a job done over and beyond!
So my dilema is this. If this is the way I operate in the real world, why should I not operate this way in the church world? Remember I am looking for a "church family" to call home.
Last weekend...I had a "second" date with a nearby church on Saturday night...and then a "first" date with another church the next morning. (I laughingly mentioned to T, that since I sworn off dating, I guess I am now "dating" churches...but at least I am keeping busy when my kids are gone.)
On Saturday night, I was very warmly greeted by the pianist. She made me feel very comfortable there. But in spite of the comfortable feeling, there was no life in the church. Everyone just sang straight-faced and I left feeling empty, like I had wasted my time.
On Sunday morning, I drove 24 miles one way to visit another church. The music was great! The pastor's message was great! Even though they went way over on time, because they had baby dedication, it was the first time in a year that I had felt like I had been to church. My soul felt alive.
After the service was over, I was going to drop my visitor's card into the "box by the door". When I couldn't find it, I stopped by the information table. I was curtly answered that "um, yeah, there is a box in there...you just have to look for it". I was quite offended. First, if someone asked you that, then you would assume they are visiting. Second, then offer to take the card for them to get to the right place. Third, introduce yourself. But no. Lack of customer service, if you ask me. I did receive a nice email thanking me for a visit. (For the record, I don't mind emails at all...so its not impersonal to me as to some.) I responded tactfully regarding the situation, in which he apologized.
So tonight, I had a "second" date with another church. The music was pretty good. But, my goodness...the only ones singing were on the stage. The entire church stayed sitting down through all the music. Can you believe it?
The sad thing is that I do KNOW what I am looking for in a church. I am looking for something that is similar to my old church. Why don't I swallow my pride and go back there, you ask? Well, it's just like dating the wrong person. Once you see that it's unhealthy and not what you need in your life, then you remove yourself from the situation.
So how can I say I miss that, if it was wrong for me? Maybe it's more that I miss "what I thought I had there" at that church. Which is what ultimately brought things to an end for me. Just like I miss "what I wish I had in a relationship". Even though I am better off being a single mom than dating the wrong person.
So still I continue my quest. But I really have to ask myself honestly...since I swore off dating because its a waste of time and energy, should I call off searching for a church too? Am I better off participating with my small group (from my old church) and listening to Christian worship music in my own home...where I am more fulfilled than going to a lifeless church service, and wasting my time?
I KNOW exactly what I am looking for: qualities, chemistry, fulfillment, interaction, and so on. As in dating, I KNOW what I am looking for in a match.
In dating, I usually take the time to get to know some things about the person. Talk to them on the phone for a little bit. Then schedule the meeting. I like to keep it to 15-30 mins, so that its not wasting anyone's time or energy IF there is not a "click".
I realized that its the same principles that I use in "dating" to find a church. I research them online, get directions, send an email to ask some questions about their programs. Then I go for the "visit". IF the music isn't there and I don't feel the "click" or connection during the service.
I know its going to sound weird to some of you that read this...that how could I ever "accept or reject" a church based on the little interaction of a first or second "date". I think it really comes down to life experience...and what you want in life, a church, and a future spouse.
I sometimes even wonder if I have spent too much time in Customer Service to expect a certain level of "contact" from a church to a visitor. Those of you that know me, know I am not adverse to bringing an issue to the attention of the responsible manager. BUT I am also always one of those people that send compliments or thank you notes on a job done over and beyond!
So my dilema is this. If this is the way I operate in the real world, why should I not operate this way in the church world? Remember I am looking for a "church family" to call home.
Last weekend...I had a "second" date with a nearby church on Saturday night...and then a "first" date with another church the next morning. (I laughingly mentioned to T, that since I sworn off dating, I guess I am now "dating" churches...but at least I am keeping busy when my kids are gone.)
On Saturday night, I was very warmly greeted by the pianist. She made me feel very comfortable there. But in spite of the comfortable feeling, there was no life in the church. Everyone just sang straight-faced and I left feeling empty, like I had wasted my time.
On Sunday morning, I drove 24 miles one way to visit another church. The music was great! The pastor's message was great! Even though they went way over on time, because they had baby dedication, it was the first time in a year that I had felt like I had been to church. My soul felt alive.
After the service was over, I was going to drop my visitor's card into the "box by the door". When I couldn't find it, I stopped by the information table. I was curtly answered that "um, yeah, there is a box in there...you just have to look for it". I was quite offended. First, if someone asked you that, then you would assume they are visiting. Second, then offer to take the card for them to get to the right place. Third, introduce yourself. But no. Lack of customer service, if you ask me. I did receive a nice email thanking me for a visit. (For the record, I don't mind emails at all...so its not impersonal to me as to some.) I responded tactfully regarding the situation, in which he apologized.
So tonight, I had a "second" date with another church. The music was pretty good. But, my goodness...the only ones singing were on the stage. The entire church stayed sitting down through all the music. Can you believe it?
The sad thing is that I do KNOW what I am looking for in a church. I am looking for something that is similar to my old church. Why don't I swallow my pride and go back there, you ask? Well, it's just like dating the wrong person. Once you see that it's unhealthy and not what you need in your life, then you remove yourself from the situation.
So how can I say I miss that, if it was wrong for me? Maybe it's more that I miss "what I thought I had there" at that church. Which is what ultimately brought things to an end for me. Just like I miss "what I wish I had in a relationship". Even though I am better off being a single mom than dating the wrong person.
So still I continue my quest. But I really have to ask myself honestly...since I swore off dating because its a waste of time and energy, should I call off searching for a church too? Am I better off participating with my small group (from my old church) and listening to Christian worship music in my own home...where I am more fulfilled than going to a lifeless church service, and wasting my time?
Monday, October 16, 2006
Polls show....
Ah ha! So now I know why I have such a tough time in the dating realm!!! It really isn't me at all!
(BTW, just for kicks I posted my pic on Hot or Not...at first I came in with a 7.7 rating...but I goofed it up and accidentally deleted the score...so it started over again...but this time at a 6.2 and moving up to 6.5...lol!)
However, according to the Census Bureau, Unmarried Households Reign in the US. NO, this is not a comforting thought by any means...because it tells how many families are being torn apart by divorce or "alternative lifestyles". It does tell me why my competition is so tough. There are 14 million single women to only 5 million single men. How is that for odds?! Horrible!! And, goodness, there are 36.7 million who have decided the traditional family is not their choice. Ugh!
I would love to do a survey to see how many of these 14 million women have as much going for them as I feel I do. And to see how many of the 5 million men are actually Christian men. I am sure that I would be VERY disappointed in that last number, however, I do believe I have a lot more together for my life than most single women...because I have leaned on God's grace and strength.
To twist a famous quote from Seinfeld: "It's NOT me...it's YOU!"
So there! :P
(BTW, just for kicks I posted my pic on Hot or Not...at first I came in with a 7.7 rating...but I goofed it up and accidentally deleted the score...so it started over again...but this time at a 6.2 and moving up to 6.5...lol!)
However, according to the Census Bureau, Unmarried Households Reign in the US. NO, this is not a comforting thought by any means...because it tells how many families are being torn apart by divorce or "alternative lifestyles". It does tell me why my competition is so tough. There are 14 million single women to only 5 million single men. How is that for odds?! Horrible!! And, goodness, there are 36.7 million who have decided the traditional family is not their choice. Ugh!
I would love to do a survey to see how many of these 14 million women have as much going for them as I feel I do. And to see how many of the 5 million men are actually Christian men. I am sure that I would be VERY disappointed in that last number, however, I do believe I have a lot more together for my life than most single women...because I have leaned on God's grace and strength.
To twist a famous quote from Seinfeld: "It's NOT me...it's YOU!"
So there! :P
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