Answers at Last!

I hate to use the old adage "When God closes the door, He opens the window". Personally, I don't believe that its always God closing the door...but rather we are trying to open a door that was never meant to be opened.

So I have always run with the theory of "keep knocking on doors, you are bound to get an answer". In my life, there have been many situations in which I have literally "turned on a dime" and moved in a completely different direction. Over the years, I have learned that "it never hurts to ask, the worst they can say is no".

In combining all these, if I keep moving forward AND knock on the doors in front of me AND asking for help....then I will get my answer! I firmly believe that God directs our path when we seek Him.

August, 2006
New School year begins. Both boys are excited and looking forward to going back to school. I was hoping for Mrs. W for J's 2nd grade year since she had N last year, but he got Mrs. E (who is the mother of their 1st grade teacher). I did not know either of the 3rd grade teachers, but the one N wanted isn't teaching this year, so he got Mrs. N. Every year, my prayer partner, T & I have been praying for our children's teachers...that God will give them the teachers they need for that year.

The year had barely began when both boys started saying they hated school. How can that be? They are still in review. Ah ha! Review time! I HATED review time...it always seemed like a waste of time to me. Well, surely they will change their minds when they get into the new material.

Parent Orientation
New Reading Program started this year. Hmmm...ok. Two years ago we started a new math program that seems to be going well. This will probably be a good thing too.

September, 2006
Took N to the doctor because he says he can't turn his brain off at night to go to sleep. She diagnosed him as ADD. ADD? My child isn't a disability child! He can sit for movies for hours. Oh? ADD is not "hyper-disorder", but lack of attention/focus-disorder. O-kay. So what now? Try this new medicine. Oh alright, but I hate meds.

Wow! N has been waking up so refreshed and in such a good mood! He has been so helpful to me in getting ready for school and making his own lunch. Thank you, Lord for our doctor that is really looking out for his needs. Such improvment in N at school too. I was getting really worried when he got suspended from school twice. Hmmm...I wonder if that the kids that bothered him at his desk had anything to do with his effort to focus? He said they "got in his way so he slapped at them to get off his desk".

October, 2006
Now that N's behavior has settled down tremendously, J's behavior has spiked. Or was it that it was the same, but overshadowed by N's behavior and now that its become subdued, J's has behavior has taken the forefront of attention?

What's this? You "can't read it because its a book"? That's why you are learning to read....so that you CAN READ a book. But dad said "that N is book smart and you are just street smart"? Well, honey, I am so sorry he said that to you, but YOU ARE SMART! And learning to read is something that helps all of us become smarter. Because we can read about things and then we know more than we used to know before we read and learned about them. (Well, I am sure that just went over his head...) I will tell you this: Your mom loves to read and I will help you learn to read, ok? Let's just start by sounding out the letters and then you will catch on.

Easier said than done!

November, 2006
J's teacher has called me at home now about 4 times. What to do? She says he is refusing to do his work in class and therefore getting 0's on his papers. I tell her I am fighting with him for up to 2 hrs to get him to do his work. She says don't do that...homework shouldn't take but 30-45 mins/night. Stop when the timer goes off and send it back to school. Well, my goodness! That still doesn't solve anything. My son isn't getting his work done and getting failing grades because he doesn't have anything turned in to be graded.

Now J is being sent to the principal's office because he is refusing to do work. The teacher calls me at work. We talk. (Ironically, right before my 2-month review at my new job) J's consequences are to sit in the principal's office all day the next day. J and I talk.

Next day: 9:34am - The principal calls me at work. We talk. J is refusing to do his work, she says. I ask, what subject is he supposed to be working on right now? She said his reading. He has already done his math. I tell her that last night J came in and did his whole math page in 3 mins, and that its the reading that he has a hard time doing. She said, well he keeps saying over and over that "he can't read it" and will I talk to him? Sure. What do you want me to tell my son, that you haven't already told him? Well, I need you to tell him to do his work. O-kay...I will. (Does she know this is undermining her authority when she calls ME at work to TELL him to do his work????) I talk to J and its a quiet afternoon....Thank God!

Tonight
In my desperation over the last few weeks, I insisted to their dad that I HAD to get some family counseling to help learn how to encourage the boys in their school work, attitudes, and behaviors. Since he knew their report cards showed failing grades, he didn't fight me on the counseling subject anymore. (I think he is at his wit's end too) Oh yes, he actually agreed to let me take them because "it can't hurt and its not costing us anything". LOL! Answers in the least expected ways!

After phone calls from the school two days in a row, I called the PAS line. I remembered I was told that I could get questions answered in between our counseling sessions. I was near tears. The gal that took my call was most helpful and suggested my talking to a Parenting Consultant that specializes in speech therapy, learning disabilities, and ADD. But to know that being a holiday week, I may not hear from them tomorrow and to let her know by next Tuesday if they didn't call by Monday.

AMAZINGLY, I received a call tonight from K in the Parenting Consultant center. How refreshing it was to hear an educated/intelligent person mentioning ideas and suggestions that I had already researched and was putting in place in my children's lives. All of a sudden, the heavy burden that has been weighing me down, rolled off my shoulders! There was HOPE! I wasn't failing my children. I was smart in the decisions I was making for and with them. They ARE bright children! And my new thought processes I have learned over the years in my personal life? She applauded them! She said, there aren't very many parents that will take the time to educate themselves to help their children succeed. Most of them will leave it to the teachers. She also said my children were very lucky to have me as their mother, because I really seemed to have my focus in life together.

WOW! I know that my close friends have supported me and encouraged me with some of the same words. However, to get it from a professional that works with children and understood all the things I was describing about my children, was a soothing balm to my distraught heart. Not only did she validate my efforts, but she gave me a wealth of knowledge to research further to find best ways to teach my children. The most valuable information of all, was she gave me steps to take and a time frame in which to gain assistance from the school in building an Individual Education Plan for J...that is backed by law!

Thank you, Dear Father, for being "a husband to the husbandless and a father to the fatherless".

Answers At Last!